


The Return

by justincase



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Rating: M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 04:48:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30016380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justincase/pseuds/justincase
Summary: Gibbs and Sloane return to Afghanistan to solve a mystery. Gibbs and Jack's relationship ends, or does it?
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	The Return

**Author's Note:**

> Gibbs doesn't want to leave Jack in a dangerous place but he has no choice. She's staying. He's not sure his heart can take this loss, if indeed it is a loss. Maybe it's only a separation. If only he could remember something Mike told him years ago, he could solve his problem. 
> 
> Chapter two; Grace tries to get the barely functioning mute Gibbs to talk. Gibbs is under a lot of internal pressure and snaps.
> 
> Chapter two ran long. Had to add another chapter. Three almost worked out, waiting to see where the show takes it. Happy ending coming, regardless of how the show works it out.

The Return

The Return

It started with an abandoned bus in Afghanistan where Sloane NCIS had been written on a dirty window. 

Jethro Gibbs and Jack Sloane were sitting in her office, relaxing with a glass of bourbon to celebrate the solving of another case. Gibbs sat on the opposite end of her sofa, and reminded her, ‘Jack, after we solve a case we go home.’ Gibbs took her hand to help her up as Director Leon Vance entered her office. ‘Good. You’re still here. I need you two in MTAC, now!’ 

They were used to emergency calls but they still looked at each other, thinking we would have been home and had to return anyway. They followed Vance to MTAC, wondering what the current crisis was. 

Director Vance and his two best agents were looking at the bus and the message. She recognized it at once as being from her friend in Afghanistan. Jack adamantly declared that she was going, regardless of what Leon said. He knew that he would not win this argument, and nodded. ‘Transport leaves in two hours. Gibbs, you go with,’ knowing full well that Gibbs would not let her go alone. 

They grabbed their go bags from their respective vehicles and got Bishop to drive them to Andrews with minutes to spare. Ellie gave each a kiss and told them to be safe. She cried the entire way back to NCIS headquarters. 

They were the only two people in the cargo bay, and they sat close together. Gibbs was famous for falling asleep as soon as any transport he was on took off. Sloane had been warned that he would sleep until they landed. She settled herself and waited for him to start breathing showing he was indeed asleep. It didn’t take long. She snuggled next to him to keep warm, and his arm came over her shoulders, pulling her even closer into his side. ‘I thought you were asleep Cowboy.’ He smiled, ‘You were hoping, weren’t you, Lt.’ ‘How can you sleep sitting up like that?’ ‘He smiled, ‘Lots of practice.’ ‘I wouldn’t mind stretching out to sleep, but …’ she was afraid she would hit the deck if the plane hit some turbulence. ‘Stretch out Sloane, put your head on my leg, and I’ll make sure you don’t fall.’ She chuckled, ‘And how will that look if someone comes back here to check on us Gunny?’ ‘Gonna look like I’m a nice guy lettin’ a woman sleep on him. Gonna be jealous, and not say a word.’ With that Jack stretched out, and dropped her head on his leg. He curled his arm over her shoulder and neck, keeping her safe; but he rubbed small circles against her, knowing it would help her relax. An hour later she had turned her face into his abdomen and curled her legs as much as possible. He watched her sleep for what seemed like hours until he too fell asleep. If anyone came back to check on them, they never knew. 

Hours later they touched down and Gibbs woke. Quietly shaking her he called her name, ‘Jack… Debark shortly.’ She shook herself awake and sat up. ‘Ugh. At least I’m rested, such as it was. You’re the warmest, Cowboy.’ He smiled, watching one of the crew came back to tell them that they were here, and a vehicle for them was arriving. The officer smiled at how he’d found them, but said nothing. ‘Rise and shine Lt. We’re here.’ 

They had their driver take them directly to the abandoned bus so Sloane could see the message herself. She shook her head in disbelief. Gibbs noticed the pile of children’s shoes and frowned. Removed to keep the girls from running away. Sickening. Their driver was adamant that they get to the town before dark, as it wasn’t safe to be out in the daytime, let alone after dark; they left reluctantly. Gibbs wanted to track the group, and Sloane was determined to go with him. A heated discussion with their driver finally ended, and they both decided they would return to the bus in the morning. 

Their driver took them to the town where the taken girls lived; stopping in front of what Gibbs thought was a very unsafe building. He asked about perimeters and was told there weren’t any. He looked at their driver, saying nothing. Everything about this operation was getting worse by the minute. Jack noticed his reaction, and waited to ask about it when they were alone. ‘Guess we are gonna have to stand watch Gunny. This town looks doubtful as far as protection of any sort.’ He nodded, ‘Noticed. Grab some shut eye. I’ll stand the first.’ With that she dropped her knapsack and dropped to one of the two cots fully clothed. She was going to miss her coffee and shower in the morning. Their hut, calling it what it was, didn’t have much, including a kitchen and bathroom, unless you considered a bucket in the corner a bathroom. She’d been in worse. Gibbs looked over his shoulder occasionally, checking if she was asleep. He stood watch all night, knowing he would not need any sleep; and wondered where he would find coffee once the sun was up. 

As the sun was rising, he smelled coffee. Someone was bringing them breakfast with coffee. He carefully watched as the woman carried a container towards them. She stopped as soon as she saw him, and put the container down by the door and smiled. She made a motion similar to the deaf signing for eat, and Gibbs nodded his thanks, wondering if it was safe to look in the container. She must have felt his concern, removed the top and tilted the box so he could see the contents. Looked safe enough, and he walked out to pick it up, watching the entire area as he bent to lift it with one hand, returning to their hut. The smells woke her, ‘Where did you find coffee Jethro … is that breakfast I smell?’ He grinned, ‘Coffee, fresh bread, fruit, cups, and sugar. Someone knows your addiction Jack.’ 

They spent breakfast discussing the best plan to recover the missing girls; settling on returning to the bus and look for any signs of direction of travel. Gibbs was not pleased with the lack of intelligence and the lack of military support. Their trip would be dangerous as hell. The bus was in a mountainous area, snipers could be anywhere. 

She shook her head at the bucket, “I sure could stand a real bathroom and a shower right now.’ Gibbs stood up, volunteering to leave the room and see if he could find her fresh water and a bar of soap, giving her privacy. ‘That would be sweet, Gibbs. But I can’t carry my weapon and use the facilities, such as they are.’ ‘You askin’ me to stay Sloane?’ She gave him a look, ‘Not like you’ve never seen me in the bathroom before Cowboy.’ ‘Different Jack, and ya know it. Can’t do what happens afterwards here.’ ‘Well, regardless, you go watch the windows, that coffee… I gotta go now!’ He hustled to the window, knowing she wasn’t embarrassed to drop her pants with him in the room. He reminded himself that this was not the place to allow his body to react to her undressing. If he gave it much thought he was gonna have to use the facilities soon himself, but he was a guy, and could mark his territory outside; as he had last night, when he’d walked their building. 

She finished and cleared her throat, ‘Safe to look now Gunny.’ ‘Damn, I missed it,’ was all he said, and then grinned at her. The same woman who brought them breakfast appeared with a bucket of water and a basin. She sat them down near the door, and Gibbs nodded his thanks. “Jack, your bathwater is here.’ She came to the window and smiled. ‘Not exactly a shower, but I can make do. Let me grab that. I’ll save you half, honest. Short wash-up is all I need. Wonder if there are any towels?’ Gibbs laughed, ‘In this heat you’ll air dry in a minute. I’ll watch if you want,’ his eyes twinkled as he smirked. ‘Bout the same as watching paint dry Gibbs!’ Much better,’ he replied. 

She washed up while Gibbs kept an eye on the neighborhood, with an occasional head turn to watch her. He was right, towels weren’t necessary, the room was already hot. She smiled, he was such a gentleman, but she knew he looked when she wasn’t watching. ‘Hey, it’s a guy thing,’ he said when she finally caught him at it. ‘Beautiful woman, stripped to wash down; what guy wouldn’t look?’ ‘Asshole,’ she said with a smile. 

They drove themselves to the scene of the crime. Gibbs walked the area until he found tracks, off in one direction. Sloane was ready to follow before Gibbs reminded her that it was often a trick to draw the followers into an ambush. They both looked in the opposite direction, and decided that was the real path to follow. They didn’t go very far before Gibbs said, ‘Not likin’ where this is leadin’ either. Let’s get back to the village, call for back-up.’ Sloane looked at him for a few moments, before she nodded. ‘Backup.’ 

They returned to the village and were about to enter their hut when a commotion caught Jack’s attention; then Gibbs’s as she screamed out and ran towards the gathering. He was four steps behind her, and stopped to see her grab the body in the dust. ‘Darya! Those bastards!’ He placed his hand on her shoulder, words were not necessary. ‘They opened the door of their van and let her fall out into the road,’ their driver said. Jack stared at him, unbelieving at his cold tone. ‘She was already dead,’ was all he said, as if he guessed; or knew. 

Her body was removed as Gibbs pulled Jack up and into his arms, hugging her tightly. ‘Nothin’ we could have done Jack. She knew her time was over.’ Jack shook, still crying. ‘Those bastards tortured her Gibbs. I know how they think. Punishment for trying to help those girls to learn about the world.’ He pulled her even closer and allowed her to vent, eventually crying herself out. 

‘Come sit on your cot Jack. You need to rest awhile.’ Jack shook her head, ‘No Gibbs! I need to find those girls and the bastards who took them and killed my friend; and kill them!’ Gibbs frowned, ‘No Jack. Not right now. You’re not thinking clearly, and this rage will get you killed. I can’t allow that to happen. Let’s let the team do what they do while we wait a little. I’ll call them shortly. But first I want you to lie down here with me; just a few minutes, please?’ It was his please that got her attention. 

She’d settled enough to talk with him, ‘Gunny, if you want to hold me on this cot, both of us will not fit. Let’s put the blankets on the floor instead. At least I won’t have those edges poking me.’ He did as she wished and made them a place on the floor. ‘Now will you settle, even for a little while Jack?’ She dropped beside him and let him wrap his arms around her. ‘Still the nicest feeling in the world, Gibbs.’ He rubbed her shoulder until she relaxed. 

His thoughts traveled back to that morning before they’d gone to work, making love early with only the moonlight filtering into the bedroom. He loved looking at her when she was sated and relaxed. He wished she was sated now, but he knew that was not possible, much as his body craved hers. He would always crave her, even after they’d just finished making love. Something about Jack drove him to hardness almost instantly. But here… dangerous to be caught with your pants unzipped, let alone anything else. A weapon within reach, or in your hands was always necessary. What a country, how did people live like this? Well Gunny, they don’t know the difference. War is all they have ever known. Sad. Kidnapping girls, killing teachers. He shook his head. We think we are helping, but are we really? More than he could decipher; and he snuggled Jack closer, not expecting to fall asleep again until they were home. 

She moaned a little and he kissed her back to sleep. He rubbed her abdomen and she pressed into his hand. After a few minutes he undid her pants button, and unzipped her, slipping his hand down her body. She was already wet. He shook his head and smiled; then rubbed her clit gently, waiting for her to respond. Didn’t take long. She arched into his hand, and whispered, ‘More.’ He slipped two fingers into her as he rubbed and worked his long fingers. Within minutes she was shuddering against him again and again. ‘Wow! Fastest ever Gibbs!’ With that she fell asleep again and he left his hand where it was. He made sure that his weapon was next to his body, close enough to use if necessary. 

Twenty minutes later she was moaning again, and rubbing against his hand. He chuckled, and repeated his ministrations. She needed it to help her return to agent Sloane, and not her other self. This time he removed his hand and zipped her pants. She moaned, ‘Playtime’s over then?’ he nodded against her hair, ‘Too dangerous Jack. But you needed it. Me too.’ She smiled at the feeling between them, ‘Gunny, you seem to have gotten even larger since the other morning… ‘His chuckle made her smile, ‘My _other_ weapon, Jack,’ as he wiped his fingers on his sleeve. 

He’d known when her friend’s body was returned to the village that she would not be returning with him. He was miserable – not the first time in his life – he’d had many such disappointments. This time he’d thought he’d found a happiness that could replace the wound caused by Shannon and Kelly’s deaths. Jack understood a side of him that none of his other wives had. There were things in his life that only someone with the same experiences, suffered, done the same things, could understand. Jack understood at a deep level. His time in Paraguay, when he thought he would never come out alive changed him. As he’d told his shrink, Grace; he felt more alive now than ever. Jack was a large part of that of his recovery, and he was happy that she was in his life, even though they kept it secret and private from work. That was about to change; he realized it. She would be staying, and his heart would break… again. He would have to work even harder to hide his emotions about Jack remaining in Afghanistan; here and at home. His eyes were damp and he rubbed them quickly before she saw the tears. He was not happy with what he knew she had decided, but he was not going to tell her that he didn’t want her to stay. Time to be honest with yourself Marine; you were going to ask her to marry you when you got back to D.C. What would you have done if she’d said no? At last he’d hit upon part of his problem. Her first marriage should not be with a man who’d been married four times before; widower once, divorced three times. Yet they seemed to get along in and out of bed, maybe the numbers didn’t matter. What mattered was the love. 

Their satellite phone rang, breaking into his thoughts; the team reporting on the person they’d discovered in the States who knew the man who reported the bus’s changes of directions. They sent a picture. Gibbs showed it to Jack, and she lifted from their makeshift bed, going in search of the bastard. Gibbs went with her, if only to protect the bastard from Jack. She dragged him into the NGO hut, showed him the picture, and then threw a hard right to his face. ‘YOU killed my friend! You son of a bitch!’ ‘I did what needed to be done. It is what it is. She wanted to teach your ways to them. It is forbidden!’ Jack punched him harder, ‘You killed her because she wanted to teach them math?!’ He looked in Gibbs’ direction, ‘She’s crazy; she will kill me!’ Gibbs only said, ‘It is what it is,’ and walked out of the hut. If he heard a gunshot, he didn’t flinch, assuming it was some truck noise. Sometimes justice required others to look in the opposite direction. 

Jack came out of the hut and looked in his direction. No reaction. He, above any other person that she knew, understood why she had done what she’d done; now to dispose of the body. She’d once told him that she knew he would help her hide a body and take the secret to his grave. She smiled to herself, about to find that out Lt, aren’t you? He turned to follow her into the hut, wrapped a blanket around the body and lifted it into their vehicle. They got in and he drove some distance from the village, dumping the body next to the bus where the girls had been kidnapped. ‘Justice for Darya,’ she whispered. 

‘You know where the girls are?’ She would never have shot him before finding that out. She nodded. ‘Let’s get Leon on the phone, send in the cavalry. We’re gonna need backup on this one.’ Marines rolled into the village within an hour, and the girls were rescued shortly thereafter. Their families were overjoyed to have them returned. 

They walked into their hut where she looked down at their makeshift bed. ‘Jet… not gonna be easy to say this…’ He tried to smile, but he could only manage a soft look, his eyes were moist. He pulled her close saying, ‘I’ve known since your friend was killed Jack. You’re gonna stay, and I’m gonna go home without you. Gonna be rough Jack. But it’s your life. I thought we had found a life together, I understand this means a lot to you. Can’t tell you not to stay. Dangerous… and I’m… not…’ He could not finish. She placed her fingers over his mouth, “Shhh Gibbs. You knew I was gonna stay, and I’m gonna miss you more than you can ever know. If you ever want to visit…’ Gibbs’ eyes were glistening, ‘Can’t Jack. If I come back you’re gonna come home with me. I’m not gonna lose my heart again.’ 

Tears slipped from her eyes and he reached for them with his thumb, he pulled her closer and dropped his head to kiss her hard and long. It would have to hold them until the next time. Letting go was not easy, but she pushed him away. ‘At least I will have the sun and sand, I’m not meant to sit behind a desk.’ Lots of sun and sand Jack… no ocean.’ They laughed for the last time. ‘Bye Gibbs,’ she whispered. Bye Jack. I’ll send you some more clothes, soap, and a coffee pot as soon as I get back.’ She smiled. 

He climbed into the Marines’ vehicle and watched her until she was out of sight. His heart was breaking, and he was certain her’s was too. Life was too hard at times, this was one of them. For once he would not sleep on the transport home as his mind sorted out what he would say to Leon and the team. He knew he would not sleep in his bed until she returned. Hell, he probably would never sleep again. He would worry until she was back. He knew he would come for her. 

Chapter 2 

He heard his doorbell ring, then the door open. He’d left that squeaky hinge unoiled for a reason. Footsteps across the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, and finally on the stairs to the basement. 

‘Popeye, why am I not surprised to find you down here? Basement, boat, bourbon.’ He looked up at Doctor Grace Calaphone, his shrink, came down the stairs. ‘Poker night’s cancelled Doc.’ She found her way to the other chair - Jack’s - in the basement, ‘Like the past two months; I got that message Popeye. I’ve come to see you, since you don’t seem to want to see me.’ He stared at her for a moment, ‘Nothin’ to talk about Doc.’ She shook her head, ‘Come on Popeye. We both know better. You have some new issues, and you need to get them out before you explode.’ A glare this time before he spoke, ‘Leon called you.’ It wasn’t a question. 

‘Yes he did Popeye; that going to be a problem? Because if it is, you and I are going to have to talk about that also. Your friends are worried about you Popeye. You are, how shall I put it, worried about how you are reacting to Jack staying in Afghanistan. You made a joke the other day, I quote; ‘She’s not lost. I know where she is.’ He crossed to her, stood over her and growled, ‘Just how the hell am I suppos’d to act Doc - accordin’ to my friends? They know a lot. Not a joke; I know where she is… Don’t know what to do 'bout it. I was gonna propose when we got back. She stayed. She deserves better than to be some guy’s fifth wife, can’t even do th…’ He poured himself two fingers of bourbon in his cup. Grace watched as he poured, the hand holding the bottle shook. Gibbs was on the edge, how far should she push before he lost it? 

He’d been less distraught after Paraguay; Jack’s staying in Afghanistan affected him deeply. Grace was certain her other patient had a similar problem which she was addressing long distance. The two of them were perfect for each other; if only they’d manage to lower their walls enough to let the other in. Since the two of them were her patients she could never tell them about the other’s thoughts, and she’d come damn close to crossing that line several times in the past. She had considered telling Gibbs how Jack felt about him several years ago. Not that Grace didn’t suspect they’d figured that out for themselves. The signs were all there, poker games where Jack was always there first; knew where everything was in the kitchen, the looks that passed between the two of them at the poker table. It was clear if you knew what to look for. She called him Cowboy, and he called her Army or LT; always affectionately. 

Grace knew Leon was aware of their relationship, he‘d rescued Jack from Afghanistan - they had a deep friendship. Possibly that was what Gibbs worried about - her having to be rescued a second time. Would Jack live this time? Him half a world away; certainly it was on Gibbs’s mind. Slowly eating him up inside - not being there to save Jack – a repeat of Shannon and Kelly. Another loss like that would likely kill Gibbs this time. 

He’d told Grace he’d come close to eating his gun after his girls were killed. Would he do that this time? All her training told her it was highly possible, even if she could get him to talk ... if ... Word that Jack was captured or killed would drive him over the edge on which he was already teetering. He would go to save her, or bring her body back. God help anyone who stood in his way; or harmed her. She understood him well enough. Their talks were going to be rough, if she could get him to open up. That was the problem; Gibbs was a hard case to crack. What she knew about him she’d pieced together, not much that he admitted to where feelings were involved. 

‘Been three months now. So. Popeye… Are we going to talk about your relationship with Jack or how you feel about her staying in Afghanistan, or is something else troubling you? Because Popeye, I think that all these things are intertwined, and they are eating you up inside. Your turn.’ He’d moved to his stool while she was talking; he stopped to take a long pull on his glass and sat it on the workbench. “Doc, I knew she was gonna stay when her friend was killed. Christ! She was set on goin’ after the bastards. Kill ‘em all. I had to talk her down, enough that she wouldn’t be killed tryin’ to find ‘em. Who’s there to stop her now? She’s gonna get herself killed if she loses it like that again. Worse, she could be killed just because she’s there in the village. I’m not there ...’ He shook his head, and stopped talking. Grace waited for him to continue. He didn’t. ‘So how did you stop her Popeye? It’s been my observation that once Jack makes up her mind, she’s going to do whatever.’ The famous Gibbs glare for what seemed like hours, but finally he spoke one word, ‘Sex.’ Her eyebrow went up, ‘Ah, distraction then. Think it will work to get her to come back?’ He shook his head, ‘Can’t reach her from here Doc.’ Not that well equipped, he thought. ‘Ahem, well that is one way to put it Popeye.’ She smiled, hoping he might do the same. He wasn’t joking. 

He poured more bourbon in his cup and took another long pull. Grace noticed he wasn’t getting drunk, nor did his hand tremble any more. So much for that. Bourbon seemed to calm him. He cleared his throat, and started, ‘When I came back from Paraguay I felt like a new person, my life changed; different. Jack was part of that change. Hell Doc. You figured out that she’d moved in with me. Most of the team knew, but they looked the other way. I burned Rule twelve for Bishop and Torres - and for Jack too - one evenin’. She thought I was movin’ in the right direction.’ 

Grace nodded and let him continue. ‘Doc, Didn’t wanna leave her there, and I couldn’t tell her that, tried - couldn’t. I can’t sleep in the bedroom because… She’s not here where I can protect her. I failed… my girls, Kate, Jen, Mike, Diane.’ He’d given Grace an in, ‘So, you need to protect her, and you can’t do that from here Popeye?’ Gibbs nodded. ‘Would you be able to protect her if you were there, or she was here?’ ‘Easier; not half a world away Doc.’ ‘So Popeye… what do you think Jack would say about you feeling she needs protection?’ Gibbs smiled, ‘Give me sass.’ Grace nodded. 

‘Popeye, you are going to have to figure out where you want to go with this relationship. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. I think the two of you can manage to support each other; cell phones, sat phones, skype. You can talk to her and see her daily. It’s not the same as jumping into bed with her, or having coffee and breakfast at the diner; but it’s something.’ 

‘Doin’ that now Doc. It’s not enough. Somethin’ could happen in an instant, even when we are on the phone. I see that when I close my eyes. I thought if I didn’t sleep in our bed I could fall asleep on the sofa.’ Grace smiled, ‘Didn’t work, huh? Dreamed of her being there with you? I'm sure you christened the sofa too. So now you sleep down here, on that thin mattress or under the boat. That can’t be good for your back.’ Gibbs shook his head, ‘See her down here too. That chair is hers.’ Grace took note of the faraway look on his face; apparently they’d christened this room with sex too. Sure - Gibbs’ boat; Jack would have understood his need to have sex against it. He didn’t need those memories, and he had them; probably every evening. Their relationship wasn’t based on sex, but it had to have been a large part of it. She was beautiful and he was handsome; their pasts an attraction that was compelling. Grace wondered what their children might look like, and smiled to herself. Her hair, his eyes, beautiful children. Gibbs would be a great father. Jack wasn’t exactly too old to be a mother. Gibbs would have no problem making babies. The man oozed testosterone. 

‘Popeye, we are going to have to talk about this again. You are at a point where you can’t move without additional input from the other party. I don’t have an answer for you Popeye, and I doubt you would want me to tell you what to do. Because you already know what needs to be done. You can’t or won’t bring yourself to tell Jack to get her ass back here, and you can’t figure out how to drag her ass back while there are still girls there who want to learn. It’s tearing you up inside. You’re in a bad place Popeye. Your team is worried you are going to lose it on a case. If I have to I will tell Leon that you are unfit to continue; I’m not ready to do that... yet - and I don’t think you want that, but Popeye, this worry is consuming you, and your team, and your friends. We are all concerned about you. I’m going to be honest Popeye. We don’t want to come here and find your body. I don’t want to have to call Jack and tell her that you’re gone. It would fall to Leon; pretty sure he doesn’t want that.’ 

‘When we meet again, we’re going to have to talk about Emily Fornell’s death. Whether you admit it Popeye, its part of your problem; she could have been yours and Diane’s. She was your ex-wife’s daughter - Tobias’s daughter. She called you Uncle Gibbs. Had to be rough watching your friend go through losing a wife and a daughter. You understand his loss, I’m certain. Gibbs – Look at me.’ His eyes met hers; for a moment she saw his soul. God, she thought, how could any woman not collapse at his feet when he flashed those blue eyes in her direction. ‘You are like a pot of boiling water; you’re going to boil over if you don’t let off steam – in a safe manner. I don’t mean beat the hell out of someone or worse. You are a danger to yourself and others. You need to step back… I know you won’t talk about your feelings, but Popeye. You need to, and soon.’ 

Gibbs watched her face, nodded. ‘Leon?’ Grace smiled, ‘If and I mean IF… you come to your appointments and we make some progress I will tell Leon you are fit to lead the team. You’re going to have to make every meeting Popeye. Because I am positive you won’t last long without them. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. And … I need those poker games. Don’t mind making a donation to your bourbon fund, but I might win a few pots.’ 

‘Now, walk me to the car and I’ll call you tomorrow to set up an appointment. Leon will give you the time. I’ll say its Paraguay again. No need for Leon’s suspicions to be authenticated. He’s smart enough to realize you and Jack …. Well … Hell Popeye, you might as well know that he walked in on you two in the kitchen after a poker game, hunting his car keys. You two were going at it hot and heavy in the kitchen. He slipped out quietly and returned making a lot of noise. Gave you time to get yourselves separated.’ Gibbs smiled at her comment, ‘Jack loves to throw me up against the refrigerator or counter…’ 

Grace smiled, ‘She misses that Popeye. You do too. Tomorrow Popeye, no excuses.’ He walked her to her car, and returned to his house. The basement was waiting. If he was lucky he’d pass out for a few hours. It would be 9:30 in her morning if he waited to call at midnight. He needed to hear her voice. He always wanted to hear her voice, needed to hear her. It was all that was holding him together right now. 

-oo0oo- 

Tim had set him up with a laptop so he could Skype with Finn; now he used regularly to talk with Jack as well. She answered at once, ‘Jethro. Good to see you, you look tired Hon. Not sleeping again?’ She was nervous, her words ran together; or it was the bourbon. “Jack… I… Grace was here. Tried talkin’ with me. Wants to see me tomorrow. Not doin’ well with you there. Need you here Jack. Can’t figure how.’ She could see his distress; she’d seen it ever since he got in the Marines’ vehicle to return to DC. It looked like he was getting worse. Grace had shared that several of the team mentioned that they were afraid he would eat his gun, and had called her during their last Skype session. Jack knew Grace was having sessions with the two of them. Difficult situation for Grace, being friends with both of them and not being able tell the other about the sessions. Her telling Jack his team was afraid he was suicidal was stretching it as far as possible Jack suspected. But Grace wanted her to know his state of mind. He was depressed; the opposite of when he returned from Paraguay. Gibbs once told Jack about his girls, even mentioned he thought about eating his gun. She’d been in the same place after her boys were killed. They understood each other; their connection. Gibbs was not one to say many words, but late at night, in their bed, he would open up just a little more each time. Sometimes he would do that when they Skyped. Probably not today. 

‘Gunny, I spoke with Finn yesterday. He said he was coming to visit you next month for the weekend. He’s really looking forward to it. You’d better lay in his favorites because I know he will eat you out of the house.’ Gibbs managed a chuckle. ‘Already got my list of requested goodies, Jack. Need to make a grocery run when it gets closer. Oreos, blue Gatorade, and some other stuff I had to write down. Kid eats like Bishop. Maybe I’ll send her to the store for the stuff. ‘Cept I’ll have to buy twice as much.’ 

Jack smiled, at least he was trying. Finn was good for him, he was good for Finn. Gibbs still carried a bag of guilt for killing Finn’s mother before she could kill Ziva. Jack prayed that Finn never found out, or that Gibbs would confess. Gibbs was plenty good about keeping secrets, even after getting smashed. She knew he would carry secrets to his grave. How the man managed to push down all those feelings, and now Jack being in Afghanistan. Grace said he was on the edge of ruin; and Grace didn’t know all of it. She’d put things together based on what he’d shared. The rest that he kept bottled up… Jack didn’t know all of it either – she knew enough and she was frightened. 

‘Hon, I think you should try to sleep a little before you have to go to work; even if you don’t feel like it. Tomorrow get Tim to show you how to set Skype to time out when you call me this late. We could coordinate our times; at least I could be there to help you sleep. I’m sure your sleeping on the couch again. Maybe if you hear my voice…’ ‘Not your voice I want Jack. Want you here beside me, where I can watch you sleep, and protect you.’ 

Silence, but their faces were still on the screen. ‘Gunny… I can’t… don’t… dammit Jethro! Don’t do this again. I’m needed here right now. Protecting these girls from the bastards that kidnapped them the last time, killed Darya.’ Gibbs let her rant until she settled, ‘Jack… if they return they’re gonna kill you. I can’t… Jack… Gonna destroy me.’ She knew she’d gone too far, but after what Grace told her in her last session, she needed Gibbs to admit what their problem was - he was afraid he’d lose her. He knew what his problem was; Grace suspected it, and Jack was certain. “Gibbs, I’m safe here. The Army comes through on odd times to check on the village. Not like I’m here by myself.’ ‘Jack not enough. We both know it isn’t. I gotta go Jack. I miss you. Sendin’ clothes, already packed. Talk tomorrow, same time.’ And in typical Gibbs fashion, he turned off his laptop. Jack stared at her screen for several minutes before she spoke, ‘Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you are a real asshole.’ She closed her eyes and said a prayer for him. 

-oo0oo- 

Gibbs tried to sleep, finally drifted off sometime around zero dark thirty. When he woke he felt his old boss, Mike Franks, in the room. ‘Probie… you ain’t making sheet music with that woman from here with her over there. Drivin’ you crazy. What the hell were you thinkin’, leavin’ her there in harm’s way?’ ‘Geez Mike! Not the kind of woman you can argue with once she’s made up her mind.’ Mike nodded, ‘So, you left her there, and sit here now, worryin’ your ass off. You gonna have another bout of thinkin’ about eatin’ you gun this time Probie? I’m not ready for you to come here. I have my hands full looking out for you as it is.’ 

Gibbs stared at his old boss. ‘What should I do Mike? She won’t leave, I can’t make her.’ Mike nodded, “Listen to yourself, when could you ever make a woman do what she didn’t want to in the first damn place?’ Gibbs chuckled, ‘Next time will be the first.’ ‘Yeah… we don’t learn until far too late in our lives that women are just as hard headed as we are about stuff. Probie, you gonna have to deal with this soon. That shrink - Grace? She seems to understand you pretty good. You gonna have to open up to her, and soon. She’s right about you about to boil over. Probie, it’s gonna get ugly soon if you don’t. You need your mind clear. Stuff to deal with, heavy shit. Don’t wanna see you lose it.’ Gibbs turned towards his friend, and he wasn’t there, again. ‘Dammit Mike. What the hell does that mean?’ was all he said. He pushed himself up from his sofa, went to the kitchen to start coffee. A shower and some clean clothes and he was ready to drive to the Naval Yard. 

-oo0oo- 

Gibbs stopped at the diner for breakfast and coffee to go, got back in his truck. Something Mike’s visit reminded him of, but it was in the deep recesses of his mind. Not clear enough to grab hold of as an idea. He would have to reflect on it, search his memories. Mike had been involved in something… If only he could grab onto it. 

-oo0oo- 

A case, something he needed to occupy his mind. If only the constant reminders of Jack would disappear. Kasie had Jack’s elephant picture, the one he’d given to her for Christmas one year. He had a hard time seeing it in Kasie’s lab. McGee had her electric stapler. Every damn time he used it he saw Jack. Torres had her damn fish, and Bishop had her backscratcher. Several times the team asked what Jack left him until his last glare stopped all questions about that. Broken heart would have been his answer, if he was the kind of guy who shared. Hard enough to look at the steps to her office and not recall his memories. Her damn pencil skirts, those heels, her legs… She couldn’t wear that where she was now, covered up from head to toes. Not gonna get a tan that way Jack, just on your face. He’d send her some sunblock in the next package, along with the lotions she’d left in his bathroom. He would write down the names so he could get more when the time came. Or open one or two and be reminded of her almond smell. Shampoo too. He wasn’t sure sending her those things was a good idea, but he wanted her to know he was thinking about her. 

Sending her packages only kept here there longer, but he didn’t want to think about her walking around in the only uniform she had. It didn’t take long to turn to rags in the heat, aside from needing washed. She loved a morning shower, and clean clothes. She was Army and used to roughing it; been a prisoner for nine months, no shower or change of clothes there either when he’d left. Wearing the same thing that long… Jack might drift back into prisoner mode. She would not be safe, mostly from herself. Each of them was in a bad place; Grace understood enough of his side; and he was certain Grace understood Jack’s pain too. Jack had mentioned that she was seeing someone about her issues. Had to be Grace. Not that Grace would admit it. She’d dropped enough hints over the past year for Gibbs to figure it out. Jack and Grace were more than professional friends, but they would never tell him. Professionals. 

-oo0oo- 

They finally caught a case, missile carrying truck. Missile dropped on the road as a result of the accident. The truck swerved to avoid hitting a dog running loose. Gibbs trailed the dog’s blood into the woods, found the dog, placed it in the truck, and sent it off to the nearby veterinarian. 

Meantime he followed the path the dog had come from. Found it, spoke with the neighbor, and found out that a guy in the trailer kept dogs. Gibbs noticed a fishing line in the pond. At the end of the line was a dog cage with a drowned dog. Gibbs looked up at the guy, walked towards him, intent on questioning him. The man gave Gibbs a smart ass answer and Gibbs punched him – hard – and kept punching him until the man was down; was still punching him when Bishop tried to pull him off. Gibbs shoved her away, hard . It took Torres and McGee to drag Gibbs off the man. He was still swinging after they’d removed him from the victim. 

-oo0oo- 

Gibbs managed to show up at his appointment with Dr. Calaphone that afternoon. ‘So Gibbs… You snapped. Told you it was going to happen. Leon doesn’t like this situation at all. His hands are tied.’ “Hell Doc. I’d do it again. The bastard shot and killed dogs for fun; what the hell was next? Kids? That’s one sick son-of-a-bitch.’ 'I’m certain you are right Popeye. But you can’t dole out punishment like that. I understand the guy is pressing charges.’ ‘Don’t care, IA is involved now. I’m gonna take the hit for the team. It’s a Marine thing.’ Grace shook her head, ‘More about loyalty Popeye, but your ass is in a lot of trouble.’ ‘Ya think? Been there before, probably not my last time either. Goes with the territory.’ 

The next day Gibbs was arrested by Internal Affairs for assault and battery. The victim was still in the hospital, under observation for concussion. Gibbs was handcuffed and taken to NCIS holding. With Vance’s intervention Gibbs was released to his supervision, and they returned to NCIS. In his office Vance told Gibbs that he was suspended indefinitely. Gibbs handed over his gun and badge, walked down the stairs, shook hands with his team. Grabbed his coffee cup and left for home. 

His team looked at each other, then up at Vance’s closed door. They shook their heads and went back to their desks. This was going to be another Gibbs takes off to Mexico thing, only this time Gibbs didn’t have Mike Franks. 

-oo0oo- 

Gibbs went directly to his basement, poured a glass of bourbon, and started on his boat. Well. Gunny, you are going to have lots of time to finish this one. After a few hours of sanding and drinking he walked upstairs to take Jack’s evening call. A few minutes later she was on his computer screen. ‘Hi Gunny. How goes it there?’ He frowned, ‘Been suspended, indefinitely, Jack. Lost it on a suspect. IA - can’t quit. Screwed this one up Jack but I’d do it again in a minute.’ 

Jack shook her head, it was something she suspected was coming; Grace had mentioned it in her last call. Gibbs was wound too tight; snapping was all he had left. She had to think of how to help him. What he really needed … That she knew. Not in the cards. If she could not come to him, maybe he could come to her. But now that he was suspended, and IA on his ass … No way he was gonna get a transport to Afghanistan. 

‘Jack… I don’t wanna talk about this. Grace is drivin’ me crazy with her damn questions… I still have to make my appointments… I just wanna make sure you are ok. I gotta go.’ With that he turned off the laptop. Jack was disappointed, maybe angry. Gibbs was shutting her out. Maybe he was still angry over her staying… not returning with him. There was something more to his being angry, something else in mind. What she could never guess, nor would he ever tell her. Unless he told Grace, who would never tell her. Not even a hint. Their long distance relationship was going to hell quickly if he was hanging up on her after a few minutes.


End file.
